Our Job

For years I said I was a stay at home mom. I had a serious spiritual whipping (as my pastor calls it) over that this year. 

I had the chance for like 7 months, to be a true stay at home mom. My husband worked 7-4 and I was at home everyday by myself with 3 kids 5 and under. 

Needless to say I realized that I've never been a true stay at home mom. Ive always had the opportunity to do some things outside the home on a regular basis - usually going with my husband to the dairy he was working at to help with shots or with dry cows etc. 

I'm so thankful that it was in God's plan to get us back on a diary farm and out of the 7-5 job. It was truly driving me insane being stuck at home all the time. Everyone had stories of their days come evening (we live so close to my in laws and my husband, brother in law, and father in law all worked at the same place so we just all ate dinner together in the evenings) and I would just sit and listen. I love my kids very much, and it wasnt being around them that was so hard, it was being left out of everything else. (Also some parts of this being so  bad for me mentally have to do with how I was raised and remnants of anxiety, depression that were triggered really bad because of being "stuck" at home.)

Now we work evenings. Usually 4pm to about 11pm or as late as 12 if things are really busy. I work full nights on work weekends (we work every other weekend) and the days my mother in law is off every week so the kids can spend the night with her. The rest of the time I work 4 to usually 730 or 8pm. I get paid just like my husband does, so I'm paying in social security etc. in my own name. But hes the responsible one on the job. We made sure that was clear when we went and talked to the farm owner. He wanted to know how we were wanting to work pay - I told him I want salary, split the check down the middle, but know youre hiring my husband, he knows cows, and I'm just here to help him. He asked what days we wanted off. What hours we wanted to work. 

God had to line that up. I mean what job interview do you ever get to go to where they ask you, what pay, what hours, salary or hourly pay, what days off do you want? And then just give you what you ask for and it all falls into place. Thats still amazing to me. 

My husband has known these people for almost half his life. But their not really the easy-to-haggle-with kind. My father in law worked for them for years. And we even worked for them before (our hours were 1am to 3 pm then - very long, weird hours, hard work, way heavier work load, and less money). This was amazing how God worked this out for us this time. 

I know God is looking out for me. My upbringing has made it very difficult for me to function as a normal adult. I had put in multiple job applications before the job at the farm opened up. I think He knew mentally I couldn't handle a regular very people-involved job (like grocery store). Mentally I dont think I could have. So He opened this door for me, but for my husband too with the lighter work load and less demanding job than he had before on this farm, and with hours that work for our kids - so they get to spend time with both their parents during the day and with their grandparents most evenings. 

Its never asked where is April at? If one of the kids doesnt feel good and I have to leave early I dont have to call and tell anyone and our pay isnt docked. If I stay home all together, same deal. 

I'm very blessed. 

I'm even more blessed that I have a husband who knows what Ive been through and is willing to work like this for me. What man would be willing to have his income cut in half to let his wife claim it? or to have her work with him, but not be held responsible for any of it? or to make it a point to tell his boss this job has to work for both me and April, or it wont work. 

My dad would never have done this for my mom. And I know a lot of men wouldnt. 

I'm so thankful for my husband and for our job. I'm thankful that God knows my limitations and how I need to grow. 

I have grown so much since the short time weve been working at the dairy. I felt the verse in Amos 9 as read from the Message. "Things are going to happen so fast your head will swim, one thing fast on the heels of the other. You wont be able to keep up. Everything will be happening at once and everywhere you look, blessings!"

I can talk to people now - men and women - without feeling a crushing weight on my chest and like my voice is going to break. I have more confidence in my work. And I'm worried less about what others think of me. 

I'm so excited to see what else God has in store for me and for my family.